chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
this will be a night to untag.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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