I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im holly from the hills drunk
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
