Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
