i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
