We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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