dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
