I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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