yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
