jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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