I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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