Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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