things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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