Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
