Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
