hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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