Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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