I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
