she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
