I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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