Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
