I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
