you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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