you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
