i just had sex bonerless
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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