Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
