I bet he comes in French.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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