it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
