Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
