just come out here and I will go home with you...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
