Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
