i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
