i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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