2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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