It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you win again, gameday.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My feet surprised me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
