He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it glows. i had to have it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
