Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
