we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
