I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
