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I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
