Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
