I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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