so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
