When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
