Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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