5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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