i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
