I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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