my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I deserve this hangover.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
