Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
