I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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