I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
