So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Did we literally take a cab across the street
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
