never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
