bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
